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Humorous News



Self Surgery

Discuss this wound: 18 comments  | New User?

----Begin Email----

If you don't know what a plantar's wart is, let me just tell you: they're nasty, they hurt, and they are virtually impossible to get rid of. Plantar Fasciitis is usually caused by a traumatic injury to the foot as in a jump or fall. Or as is more common in runners by a steady pounding over time. Plantar warts are not like regular warts, in that plantar warts grow a root that can go deep into the foot, hence the problem with removing them.

My brother, Jay, got one of these and tried like hell to get rid of it. He went to foot doctor and dermatologist and for months. They treated the plantar's wart with dry ice in an attempt to burn it off. There was even one attempted unsuccessful surgery to try to remove the wart.

Now just as some background, our dad has a history of self-surgery in removing warts, moles, and other unwanted skin irritations. I remember a time he had some kind of white mole or pimple or something on his lip and after complaining about it forever he finally went into the bathroom with his pocket knife and a set of pliers. Damn, I wish I had a picture of that!

Anyway, my brother, (like our dad not blessed with too sound of judgement,) decided that after months it was finally time for the planter's wart to come out. He sat down armed with his G.E.D. in self-surgery and used a set of pliers, (a popular household surgery tool) a couple of knives and a lighter to attempt to remove the wart.

After not being able to walk for a few days he decided to go to the doctor. I don't know if he had realized that he had f*cked up, or if he just couldn't stand the pain anymore. The doctor was appalled and couldn't believe that he had actually tried to remove the wart himself. The doctor said that they would have to operate, and that Jay should feel lucky that it didn't get infected. After the surgery the wart appeared to be gone, but also gone was a good portion of his foot. The attached pictures are fresh out of the O.R. They were taken about 1½ months ago and the wound is still healing. I will send updated pictures as soon as they are available.

Please let me know as soon as this story and pictures are posted.

----End E-Mail----

Editor's Notes:

Well I just found your brother's Christmas gift. I hope you can get it in time. I noticed it's not FDA approved yet, but it's bound to be eventually.

I'm not sure that plantar fasciitis is the same thing as plantar warts, but as I've shown in previous posts, I'm no doctor.

I have had a plantar wart that just wouldn't go away, and I did indeed pull on the center of it with pliers once. They come out in little strands, so I pulled just a little out but I could see that it was only going to make me bleed and probaly not rid my foot of the dreaded virus. I had no intentions of attempting a complete cutout like your brother as mine was on the ball of my foot (and also I'm a big wuss). They do annoy the hell out of you, those things. It finally went away and I have no idea why. I should have threatened it with the lighter and maybe it would have gone away sooner.

Thanks for sending this in, and as always we would love healing/healed pics when available. I always try to email the submitter when the pics go up, but if the rest of you want update notification, there's always The Maillist.

Sharky

Photos:
Close- I can almost smell it
Closer- "nurse hand me the melon baller"
Closest- that's gonna take a while to heal